Another Typical New Years Post

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I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas and have

wait for it,

a Happy New Year!

New Years is a fun time but it is also very fun-ny. Because if you really think about it, the concept of measuring time is man-made. So technically there really is no such thing as separating time into different amounts. For this reason I sometimes imagine time as an endless expanse instead of chopped up into tiny days, months, and years. Most of the time I do this when I’m facing a particularly tough challenge. It puts everything into perspective. In comparison nothing seems so terrible because time is so huge and our lives so small. It’s easier to appreciate life when reminded of how little of it we have. That’s the way I see it.

But aside from the philosophical view of it, this particular chunk of time has had it’s share of excitement. Responsibilities that I’m proud to take on have come my way. I have grown as a person and I hope to continue to grow. I also recently started this blog. To say that I wouldn’t change a second of it would be a lie, but it came pretty close. I lost some but I gained far more than my fair share. As they often say, you learn more from your failures than from successes and I can back that up fully. There are many promising chances that await me starting January 1st and I can’t wait to meet them head-on.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but on New Years I always feel like I have to do something exciting, and if I don’t I always feel this twinge. It’s like I think everyone sees the jubilation expressed on this one day as a reflection of the happiness in my life. I care a lot about what others think about me, even if I try not to. It’s almost impossible not to. But as I sit here typing this typical New Years Eve Post with my loved ones nearby I feel content. I also feel way too full from eating junk food all afternoon which I will definitely regret when I begin my typical New Year’s Resolution Diet. But that’s not what is important about this holiday. It’s about appreciating and celebrating all you have that matters and welcoming the new year. Everyone gets a fresh start, a chance to change. Don’t look back because that’s not what’s important now. Whether we use New Years as an excuse to have fun or for more serious reasons it affects us in one way or another. But my dear readers, this has been a good year.

If we celebrated life as much as we do on this one day I believe the world would be a much better place.

I hope you’re New Year is as fantastic as they come. Live well, and celebrate! But don’t get too crazy. 😉

Christmas and Divorce (I Salute You)

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Home is where the heart is. But what if your heart is in two different places?

My parents divorced when I was three years old. From a young age my life has been divided along with my clothes, toys, and most importantly my time. In my case it was not the divorce itself that made me miserable. I had accepted that my parents weren’t together anymore. They weren’t happy, and I knew that if they had stayed together it would still be that way. No, what hurt was the holidays. As humans we always want what we can’t have. Even though I knew the divorce was for the best, watching other kids with a whole family made my heart hurt. There was a hole in my life I could never fill. I was scrambling just to fit everyone in, and for other kids it was just so easy. It was all planned out for them by their parents. Christmas morning with was the hardest. No matter who you spent it with someone gets hurt. No matter how fair it is, there is still one person left out.

Getting older doesn’t make it any easier. Responsibilities come and decisions have to be made. When you realize that they’re doing Christmas morning with your little sister without you hurts. But your mom only does Christmas morning every year and for the rest of the day you’re with your dad so you just have to get over it. From now on you will never get to see your little sister open up her stoking on Christmas morning. Those are the kind of decisions you have to make. Half of you is here and the other half is wishing you could be there too.

No one is there to hold your hand and walk you through it. You have to do it on your own. Mom and dad love you, but sometimes they don’t understand.

When your parents are divorced you have to grow up a lot faster than you should.

But it’s not just hard on the kids. I’m not a parent myself, but I know that my mom had to sit through many Christmas mornings alone without me. My dad also got his share of lonely holidays. But even years later when they both got remarried and were happy, it still wasn’t the same. My dad had another baby girl but that doesn’t mean he didn’t want me there too. But he has more than one child to think about. I understand why he made the decision to open stockings without me. I’ll open my stocking later in the day when I get to come for the rest of the day. But it still won’t be the same not opening them together.

While I was sitting here thinking about this decision I realized I’m not alone. According to the American Psychological Association 90% of Americans are married by age 50. But 40-50% of those couples end up getting a divorce. Chances are half of you out there reading this are from are divorced or are from a divorced home.

It’s not easy, and I understand. I know it’s not much, but it’s more than anyone else told me. There were years my parents didn’t make it easy. I know now that it wasn’t easy for them either. But I still felt alone and sad seeing my parents hurting and feeling like it was my fault. I still feel that way sometimes. So for all of you out there going through the same thing every year,

I salute you. I respect you for making the decision no one should ever have to make. Choosing between two people you love is the hardest decision. There is no easy way out, and there isn’t any way to go around it. But you survive every year. Not just Christmas but every other major holiday. If you don’t celebrate Christmas then Cuanza, Hanukah, or anything else that applies to you.

Just know that you are not alone. Show love as much as you can because that’s what Christmas is all about (and Jesus’s birth of course). I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. 🙂

The Dandelion (Why I Made This Blog)

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It was just sitting there outside my front doorstep. But it was the most beautiful thing I had seen all day, nay, perhaps even all week. It was perfect or at least close enough to it. It’s little fluffy seeds glistened in the evening light as I peered at it from my doorway. I couldn’t believe it– a completely whole dandelion. I hadn’t seen one that was completely untouched in years. In retrospect, it probably wasn’t even that great. But for some reason, seeing that little dandelion just sitting there gave me hope.

I had to tell someone. I tried telling my best friend, but she didn’t quite grasp what I was trying to say. It was useless to try I knew. But I still wanted to somehow. I still had to tell someone, anyone. I took a picture to share later, and I made my wish. I felt a twinge of regret as I watched the pieces fly away. As it flew away that dandelion made me realize something very important: I have something to say. Not just about the dandelion but about anything, EVERYTHING.

Before I could talk myself out of it or make excuses I made this blog. Because I do have something to say. Like the blog title says, they don’t teach you everything, and we only have one life. So there you go world. My name is Savannah Cleckler, and I approve of this message.

P.s: The dandelion is now my featured image above, if you were curious. 😉